08/19/07 ... Once we were all bicyclists ...
I learned on the interwebs that walking,
computer-chair-sitting human individuals are evolved -- you will be dumbfounded
-- from bicyclists. BICYCLISTS. BICYCLISTS!
I've heard a lot of stuff about our evolution, and the last working theory I had was that we were "from the water," like, all swimmy things, fins turning into arms and feet and stuff.
And then not having gills and all, we couldn't go all around under the drink, we had to stay close enough to the surface so that it would be there every time we needed a breath, so we're relegated to the in-between space of air and water, so then we made it worse by getting out of the pond and walking all around on land but not flying. (I don't know why, as a species, we make the choices we do, but I feel, oftentimes, that I'm in the voting minority.)
So it makes a lot more sense to know, now, that we're up from bicyclists. 'Cause bicyclists can't do everything. I once biked for 35 days straight and then tried to walk around Manhattan for a day. Guess what? My walking muscles had atrophied; I had devolved to a state of "pre-walking bicyclist." But I relearned all that stuff again, which would have been much harder if I had devolved into a mermaid.
I've heard a lot of stuff about our evolution, and the last working theory I had was that we were "from the water," like, all swimmy things, fins turning into arms and feet and stuff.
And then not having gills and all, we couldn't go all around under the drink, we had to stay close enough to the surface so that it would be there every time we needed a breath, so we're relegated to the in-between space of air and water, so then we made it worse by getting out of the pond and walking all around on land but not flying. (I don't know why, as a species, we make the choices we do, but I feel, oftentimes, that I'm in the voting minority.)
So it makes a lot more sense to know, now, that we're up from bicyclists. 'Cause bicyclists can't do everything. I once biked for 35 days straight and then tried to walk around Manhattan for a day. Guess what? My walking muscles had atrophied; I had devolved to a state of "pre-walking bicyclist." But I relearned all that stuff again, which would have been much harder if I had devolved into a mermaid.
posted by Constance X at 5:01 AM
1 Comments:
So, yeah, exactly what I'm sayin'. You see, that's the thing - You're gonna whack a wasp nest you're gonna need a bicycle to get away, if you know what I mean. I mean, who would wanna do that anyways? One time thousands of years ago durin' my little girlhood there was this big buzzin' mess hangin' from the rafters in this guy's garage. Derek just had to show me. C'mon, Cupid - Check this out. I don't really want to, Derek. Go show it to Kyle. No, really - You gotta see this! It's a bunch of bees and I'm gonna catch 'em. No way, Derek! You're gonna get stung! I won't get stung, Cupid. C'mon - I'll show you. Okay fine. And, well, to make a long story short, we went over there and Derek tried to whack the bees into a box and nearly got stung to death. I, on the other hand, pedalled my cute little self to safety soon as I saw what he was doin'. Momma didn't raise no dummy.
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