My soul is a hurricane ... HEAR ME!

My soul is a hurricane roaring up the coast but threatened by my other soul, a giant asteroid, coming down on the hurricane like a flyswatter. I am a tsunami emanating from the impact of an asteroid that seemed to be chasing a hurricane, with a WILL! I am a brushfire that burns clouds, ignited by mist from the Hebrides, which could have been the angel's share of a store of casks of single-malt, ormaybe not. HERR HERR HERR! I am chasing crocodiles up the Nile with a magnifying glass and resurrecting the lighthouse at Alexandria. I am making icebergs collide in mid-air! It rains diamonds into the deepest part of the ocean! I am throwing gold at the sun! It is too late at night to wear pants. HEAR ME!