Mooshing th' TOC on Gravity's Crackers
Contents.
Gravity’s Crackers 1
Does your country have the gravity? 1
Preface 5
Draft Manifesto of Truth Fighters 6
Rant of Bear 6
Transmissions from Chiron on the Night of Last Vermouth 7
The great simultaneity 8
Everyday miracles inhibit my living of life! 8
What is it like to play after the game is won? 9
slow-motion state of in extremis 9
Joy Bear, Naturalist 12
Every Time Bear of Eat Tiger 13
Throw-down: Jaws! 13
Churchill’s Parrot 13
Grunting the Giant Idaho Worm 14
Communique to Kinkistan: Giant Squids Taking California; Please to Send Assistance 15
The Banana Tree in the Room 15
baby sharks snuggle in wetsuit make chafe the hotspot 17
Commercial uses of wolf spiders; spider-swine DNA splicing possibilities. 17
Ms. Kinkyboots interviews me on genetic experimentation 18
Frankly, I don’t understand unicorns. 21
Dog Breed Theory of Intelligence Differentiation 22
On Sandcastles 22
Bad Day at the beach 23
Carbon Footprints in the Sand. 23
I consider economizing, but can't bear not throwing money away 23
“People do get bored with sex all the time, and look to TV for relief.” 23
Joy Bear, Inventor 24
The Fun Patent 24
VR Goggles 24
Machine of Perpetual Movings 27
Lab notes; interim report. 27
Hot air balloon; propulsion as jet thrust fire of derision 29
Bear Make of Space Shuttle 29
Redneck Shuttle 30
Boomerang of No Return 30
Wicker Bus Commission for Helena Handbasket & c. 31
Currently in Bear Shop: Black Pepper Fountain! 31
Joy Bear, Business Bear 32
Unique Venture Capital Invest Opportunity! 33
Bear Tell: Technological Advances and Mr. Bin Laden 33
Bear gives Miss Cupid Advice: Cocoa Bat Speculation. 34
Fast-track Dating Videos in the works 34
Joy Bear Cook Show! 35
Magic th Beaver Dustings 35
New Brainstorm Invention: Toy Retrieve 36
Reduction, or Elimination of Acrimony 37
In Search of the Rare Knickknack, “The Creaming of the Sugar” 38
Bear's Survey: Bear curious to know about YOU! 40
Bear invite you to UNBELIEVABLE RETURNS! 41
Joy Bear, Diplomat, Nation Builder, Statesbear 42
Does your country have the gravity? 43
My red white and blue hoodwinkling 43
Flexecution: Flexetarian, goofy-foot, quick-move the keretsu, short-order, just-in-time the process! 43
Grunion supply chain issue 44
Trading up the Nut Heirarchy 44
Of SAUCE and SOUP 44
Trade Negotiations Proposal the Kinkistan 45
Bear Envoy Kinkistan Nation Bails of America Outtings 45
Improvements of debating format for think-tank team: Hopscotch 47
What is Vice President Do? 47
Xbox-Boys Army 48
Bear not agree to integrate with humans, sorry. 48
USA Envoy Prepares Special Moon Day 49
Strategic Requirements 49
Bear Nation-building: Establish International Prizes 50
Yes, we have no blackout bananas 50
Is weep of commentary sadness of nation! 50
Bigfoot Posse 51
Search on to find Cupid Kinkyboots missing! 53
Joy Bear, Social Commentator, Innovator 54
FIRST FALSE RECURSION 55
From the Coalition Against Tuneless Whistling Files 55
... So many portents ... 56
RE: Friends are like potatoes 57
CAPTCHA Expertise 57
… perhapsing, of the also! 58
Cats cannot be vacuumed in this country, it is the Constitution! 58
Transmissions from the future reveal: future still the full of dumbass! 59
Happy to 50 Years Antarctica Treaty Hooray 59
Joy Bear, Celebrity Confidant 61
Bear and Cherrystone 62
My Relationship with Sasquatch 62
Bear Jealousing Bigfoot 63
One time I rent of cabin woods of Norway… 63
Miss Rachel 64
"hipster asses": Hmmm, of coming out of woodworkings! 64
Come around sometime, and fix my screens. 65
constant infest predators of invade, you bait place with Cheetos make predator borings of set hooks refill wall drillings 66
Aug 12 Madonna et I “Dear Diary” 66
Madonna et I of wood shop. 67
Joy and Al Gore Way of! 67
Sometimes Dame Judy Dench Come Over Bear Cave. 68
Chuck Norris’ Aqua Velva 69
Say of once, Fred Rogers tell me ... 69
Mother Chemical, Keating, and Cheney 69
----------------- Original Message ----------------- 69
WU WEI 69
Of Flying Gourds 70
... pop-culture-less refugee ... 71
How I Saved Myself from Certain Death when Pop-Rocks Tore Open my Stomach 71
On Lemon Pledge 72
Towing the Line 72
Contemptu Cat Manifesto! 73
Joy Bear, Foodie, Gourmand 75
Chipotle-existentialism 75
creamed tuna over toast is a SIN in my religion 75
Ginger snaps 75
Book of Picnic 76
Is make have picnic ... 76
Consumption contests FIRST and then spiritual bonding 77
National Waffle Association 77
Maybe Cook Ideas Before of Hatch: ‘Baby Eats’ Club 78
Hornet Chrispies 80
Off his crackers 80
Joy Bear, Action Advisor 84
Rush the gun arm from the side 84
Explanations. 85
On Questioning Existence 85
How many thought-particles make a thought 86
Q: i want to BE. 86
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